How To Survive A Party: 44 Experts Reveal Their 3 Best Party Tips For Introverts

how to survive a party - party tips for introverts

With Christmas and the holiday season upon us, the thought of parties and social gatherings might be filling you with dread and anxiety.

If you're an introvert or a naturally shy person, you might be wondering how to survive a party ... and be in need of some party tips for introverts.

Us introverts simply prefer to relax by spending time alone or with a quiet group of friends. However, there are times we need to get out of our bubble and attend some parties and social events.

To help preserve our precious energy and willpower, I asked 44 experts, coaches and prolific bloggers one simple question:

"What 3 party tips would you recommend for an introvert?"

Let me tell you, the insights I received from these 44 established experts were nothing short of amazing.

Read on to discover each expert’s best 3 party tips for introverts along with their insights on how to survive a party, especially in the holiday season.

You can either skip to your favourite expert using these quick links or grab a drink, pull up a chair, get comfortable and commence scrolling.

I’ve listed all of them below.

Aaron Lee, Andy Mort
Beth Buelow, Brenda Knowles
Casey Lightbody, Christine Warner
Darren Rowse, Denise Duffield-Thomas
Gerry Katzman, Georgina EL MorshdyGlori Surban, Guy Kawasaki
Heather Williams, Helene Scott
Jacqui Stafford, Judith Orloff M.D.
Katherine Mackenzie-SmithKathryn Hall, Kerry Jeffery, Kylie Bevan
Lisa Avebury
Maggie Reyes, Marsha Shandur, Martini Fisher, Melissa Ng, Michaela Chung
Nancy OkerlundNathalie Doremieux
Patricia Weber
Rachael Cable, Renee Catt
Sandy Jones-KaminskiSarah Jones, Dr Simon Rego, Susan Steele, Sophia Dembling, Stormy Sweitzer
Tanja Gardner, Thea Orozco, Tracey Convery, Trudy Simmons, Tyler Tervooren
Val Nelson
Yasmine Khater

More...

Party Survival Tip #1. Beth Buelow - The Introvert Entrepreneur

Beth Buelow The Introvert Entrepreneur

"Get out of your head and drop down into your body."

Beth Buelow is an author, speaker, and certified professional coach. She founded The Introvert Entrepreneur to create a safe space where introverts can gain insight, support, and empowerment in a supportive environment designed to help them flourish. Connect with her on Twitter.

Beth's answer:

Assume a role at the gathering. Set the table, distribute gifts, mash the potatoes, be the event photographer. Having a sense of purpose often makes it more fun to circulate and be part of the group.

Get out of your head and drop down into your body. Step into quiet space and take a few deeps breaths, shake out your hands, do some head rolls, and practice a power pose for 20-30 seconds (feet firmly planted shoulder-width apart, hands on hips, shoulders up and back, chin up, deep breaths). This will help inject some physical energy into your body, which also boosts your mental energy.

Think of “introvert” and “extrovert” as verbs. You don’t have to fake it; rest up in advance so you have some energy to expend, then think of projecting your energy outward, or “extroverting.” It’s not about splashing your energy all over the room, but rather focusing it on the people with whom you most want to connect.

The best conversationalists are the best listeners. Rather than being concerned with what you’re going to say, focus on asking good questions and listening (good listening leads to good questions!). The biggest gift you can give someone is to really see and hear them, without your own agenda or self-talk getting in the way. Just be present and attentive in your own introverted style and trust you can handle whatever happens!

Party Survival Tip #1 For Introverts: Focus on asking good questions. @theintrovertcoach via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #2. Sarah Jones - Introverted Alpha

Sarah Jones Introverted Alpha

"Make your #1 commitment to be a happiness-sharer."

Sarah Jones is the founder of Introverted Alpha. She helps smart introverted men attract women naturally. Connect with her on Twitter.

Sarah's answer:

1. View every outing you say "yes" to as an adventure. Is it cozy to stay at home? Definitely. It's important to do a LOT of resting and relaxing in between parties to recharge. That way, when it's time for a party, you're excited to have an out-of-the-house adventure. When you think of parties as adventures where anything can happen, it's a fun and playful way to acknowledge the unknown.

2. Make your #1 commitment to be a happiness-sharer. Rather than hoping you'll survive, focus on how to thrive by being happy and enjoying yourself and looking for tiny, easy ways to share that happiness with others. Your adventurous goal is to make one person smile that evening, and when that's your goal, you'll do that many times over!

3. Use the dish-washing trick. When you have a big load of dishes to do, it's a great trick to say, "I'm just going to wash one dish." Then before you know it, you've washed all of them! It's the power of momentum in our human nature. You can harness that same momentum with parties: "I'm just going to get a drink; that's it." Then before you know it, you find yourself making people smile and you realize you're on a fun adventure.

Party Survival Tip #2 For Introverts: Use the dishwashing trick. @IntrovertdAlpha via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #3. Guy Kawasaki

Guy Kawasaki introvert tips

"Make a short appearance and then leave right away."

Guy Kawasaki was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Today he is the chief evangelist of Canva and author of The Art of the Start 2.0, The Art of Social Media, Enchantment, and nine other books. Connect with him on Twitter.

Guy's answer:

When it comes to parties, I have two factors working against me. First, I’m an introvert. This means that interacting with people sucks energy out of me.

Second, I have Meniere’s disease which involves tinnitus and hearing loss. This means on a physiological basis, parties are hard for me because I cannot hear and cannot distinguish where sound is coming from. This further sucks energy out of me.

My party survival tips are:

1. Don’t go. The purpose of a party is to have fun. If you can’t have fun, don’t go.

2. Make a short appearance and then leave right away.

3. After meeting the hosts, hide in a corner.

Party Survival Tip #3 For Introverts: After meeting the hosts, hide in a corner. @guykawasaki via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #4. Darren Rowse - PROBLOGGER

Darren Rowse introvert tips

"Make a connection with someone who will be at the party before you go."

Darren Rowse is a blogger, speaker, consultant and founder of several blogs and blog networks, including b5media, ProBlogger.net and digital-photography-school.com. Connect with him on Twitter.

Darren's answer:

1. Where possible make a connection with someone who will be at the party before you go. If it's a conference, watch hashtags on social media and reach out to others who will be at the event. You might even want to plan to meet before the event for a drink so you can go in together.

2. Monitor your energy levels. Introversion is about where you get your energy (from others or from being alone). If you're getting overwhelmed or low on energy take a moment out by yourself to recharge.

3. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Post-party regret is something that many introverts suffer after missing out on saying hi to that person they wanted to meet. Push yourself outside of that comfort zone for a moment or two and walk up and greet that person - a moment of awkwardness could lead to all kinds of opportunities.

Party Survival Tip #4 For Introverts: Make a connection with someone before you go. @problogger via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #5. Tyler Tervooren - Riskology

Tyler Tervooren party introvert tips

"Know what you can actually handle without burning out."

Tyler is the founder of Riskology where they teach introverts how to own their personality and develop into the strong leaders the world needs by mastering their psychology and taking smart risks. Connect with him on Twitter.

Tyler's answer:

Most stressful thing about parties for me — especially during the holiday season are overcommitting and getting myself to actually show up once I commit. So my tips revolve around that:

1. Know what you can actually handle without burning out and don't commit to more parties than you can manage. Be vigilant!

2. Have a pre-party calming technique. I always notice I have light anxiety before a party and it can make me re-think going at all. Having a little ritual for calming myself before heading out (or before going in) helps with this a lot.

3. Pre-decide when you'll leave. It's incredibly freeing knowing before hand that you'll only stay until a certain time. You don't have to announce that to anyone and you can always stay longer if you're up for it, but having that cut off time is freeing.

These are a few of the things that get me through the holidays (and any other social gathering). I almost never regret going out and meeting people or socializing but often regret not going, so anything I can do to help myself embrace it more makes my life a lot better. Good luck!

Party Survival Tip #5 For Introverts: Pre-decide when you'll leave. @tylertervooren via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #6. Sophia Dembling - The Introvert's Corner, The Social Introvert and Suit Up And Show Up

Sophia Dembling

"Look for the people sitting and watching rather than in the middle of things."

Sophia is a Dallas based writer and editor and is the author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way To Happily Ever After. She's also an advice columnist for the Quiet Revolution and a blogger at Psychology Today. Connect with her on Twitter.

Sophia's answer:

1. It's easier to say "yes" to invitations if you promise yourself you can leave when you're ready. (And keep that promise.)

2. If you'd like to meet other introverts, look for the people sitting and watching rather than in the middle of things. Drift rather than jump into conversation.

3. Throw your own party; it can be easier than attending other people's. You get to see people you like and give them the gift of a good time, but you'll be so busy with hosting duties that you won't have time for a lot of party chitchat.

Party Survival Tip #6 For Introverts: Look for the people sitting and watching. @SophiaDembling via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #7. Jacqui Stafford - Celebrity Style Expert and author of THE WOW FACTOR

Jacqui Stafford style guru

"Wear ONE great necklace / timepiece / pair of earrings that might function as a conversation-starter."

Jacqui Stafford is one of the industry's most influential and sought-after style experts. As a best-selling author, stylist and TV personality, Stafford's work has appeared in countless national magazines and she is a recognized style & beauty authority on television. Her high-profile, private styling client list ranges from celebrities to royalty. Connect with her on Twitter.

Jacqui's answer:

1. Always go to the party wearing something you feel comfortable in, with shoes/heels you can walk in. (This isn't the time to try that sample sale piece which you've never worn, or those new pumps that could give you blisters.)

2. Wear ONE great necklace/timepiece/pair of earrings that might function as a conversation-starter. (It's easy for others to start chatting if they have something to compliment you on.)

3. When you first arrive, instead of heading straight to the corner to hide, stand near the buffet table instead. People are more likely to engage in light conversation there.

Party Survival Tip #7 For Introverts: Wear something you feel comfortable in. @Jacqui_Stafford via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #8. Dr Simon Rego - Director of Psychology Training at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York

Dr Simon Rego

"It's okay if you don't interact with everyone."

Dr. Simon Rego a licensed clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience in using Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based psychological treatments. He is currently Director of Psychology Training and Director of the CBT Training Program at Montefiore Medical Center and an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. Connect with him on Twitter.

Simon's answer:

Here are 3 party survival tips that I would recommend for an introvert:

1. Rest up in advance! Since intense social interactions tend to drain introverts of their energy, it can be a good idea to "charge up" in advance by making sure you’re well-rested - just like running a marathon. Get some alone time in the days before a social gathering and be sure to get enough sleep the night before the party.

2. Seek out the extroverts at the party! Every speaker needs a listener, and extroverts love talking and attention. Plus, if you're more of an introvert, odds are you're very, very good at listening and asking insightful questions - so you can both leave the conversation feeling good about it.

3. Set reasonable expectations! It's okay if you don't interact with everyone. It's okay if you don't get overly personal in your conversations. It's okay to take a breather if you start to feel overwhelmed. And it's okay if you don't stay until the very end!

Party Survival Tip #8 For Introverts: It's okay if you don't interact with everyone. @psyd via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #9. Val Nelson -Business/Life Coach for Introverts

Val-Nelson

"I follow the fun and avoid the "ick."

Val Nelson is an ex-wallflower who is finally living her purpose, in her own introvert way.  Now she helps other introverts, SOULpreneurs, and "good girls" find their clarity, confidence, and natural flow, so they can bring their unique gifts to the world. Connect with her on Twitter.

Val's answer:

I have a love/hate relationship with parties. Even attending an event with people I love, I might start to wither and want to scram early. When I take a little care of myself before, during, and after an event, it goes much better. Here's what works for me:

1. Before: I put lots of alone time in my gas tank beforehand.

2. During: I follow the fun and avoid the "ick." Meaningful conversations, yes. Talking my ear off, no. I've gotten good at the graceful exit and I recommend it! I leave the party when I want to. It's about being myself. Turns out, being fake is the main source of the energy drain!

3. After: I take unapologetic down time after social events. Laying around isn't laziness, it's great self-care.

Party Survival Tip #9 For Introverts: Follow the fun and avoid the "ick." @valnelson via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #10. Judith Orloff M.D. - Author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life.

Dr Judith Orloff

"Find one positive person you connect to in the party, and get to know them better."

Dr. Orloff, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, has helped patients find emotional freedom for over 20 years. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality to achieve physical and emotional healing. Connect with her on Twitter.

Judith's answer:

1. In Emotional Freedom I emphasize how important it is for introverts to avoid energy vampires who suck them dry. This can be the chronic talker, the victim and the drama queen. If you can’t avoid them, set a limit for the time your interact, then make your escape.

2. Introverts abhor small talk. Find one positive person you connect to in the party, and get to know them better instead of making draining small talk with a lot of people.

3. Limit the time you stay at parties, for instance 2 hours, instead of over-staying for hours and being sapped by the overstimulation.

Party Survival Tip #10 For Introverts: Find one positive person to connect with. @JudithOrloffMD via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #11. Denise Duffield-Thomas - Lucky Bitch

Denise DT introvert tips

"Have an exit plan."

Denise Duffield-Thomas is the money mindset mentor for the new wave of online female entrepreneurs.  Denise helps women release their fear of money, set premium prices for their services and take back control over their finances. Connect with her on Twitter.

Denise's answer:

1. It's okay to say no. If you only have energy for a few parties this season, be picky in what you say yes to. Make up an excuse if you have to!

2. Arrive and leave early. Hosts love it when you arrive on time (someone has to). You can help set up and be there in the early stages to get the party started. Your host will be grateful and you can bow out before it gets too overwhelming without feeling guilty.

3. Have an exit plan. Introverts should NEVER rely on anyone else to drive them home and avoid promising you'll leave with someone. Know how you'll get home, have enough cash on you for a taxi and give yourself permission to leave when you want.

Party Survival Tip #11 For Introverts: Have an exit plan. @DeniseDT via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #12. Michaela Chung - Introvert Spring

Michaela Chung Introvert Spring

"Create pockets of solitude."

Michaela is an introvert coach, writer and entrepreneur. She is publishing her first book in 2016. She also has two online courses where she shares her best resources and exercises for being a confident and compelling introvert. Connect with her on Twitter.

Michaela's answer:

1. Always have an escape plan. Often, introverts get stuck at parties long past our social batteries are depleted. That’s why the #1 rule of introvert survival is to always have an escape plan. Carpooling can be detrimental for introverts, especially if we're rolling with an extrovert who gains steam as the night progresses. A better plan would be to share a vehicle with a fellow introvert, or to travel solo.

2. Let go of the guilt. While it’s really important to have an escape plan, it’s even more important to forgive ourselves when we don’t. When our social batteries are drained, it's easy to feel shame about our crankiness, and our absolute intolerance for small talk. But feeling guilty only makes matters worse. Remember, it's natural to feel drained by socializing. Introverts need downtime between social spurts. There is no need to feel guilty about our innate needs.

3. Create pockets of solitude. The key to introvert party survival is to reduce stimulation. At social events, noise and visual stimuli are the most menacing culprits. Our mind can get pretty loud, too. Looking at a bulletin board, bookcase, or coffee table book allows us to refocus and calm our mind. Getting as far away as possible from loud music and people also helps.

If I’m really stuck, I practice deep breathing. When possible, I often sneak away from social events to go for a walk around the block, or just stand in the breeze.

Party Survival Tip #12 For Introverts: Create pockets of solitude. @MichaelaChung1 via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #13. Marsha Shandur - Yes Yes Marsha

Marsha-Shandur

"ASK QUESTIONS."

Marsha helps you tell the story of WHY you do what you do, in a way that instantly grabs your dream clients. Then she helps you get the message to them, using networking that's actually fun. Connect with her on Twitter.

Marsha's answer:

1. If you can, arrive early. I know this might seem like an excruciating idea, but here's why it's smart: (1) When you get there early, the cliques of people aren't yet formed, so it's much easier to join - or start - a conversation. (2) You can offer to help. This'll give you something to do, and automatically give you something to talk about.

2. ASK QUESTIONS. This is all in caps, because it's so important. I am consistently baffled by people who I know hate being shy, but who do nothing to make the conversation flow. Asking questions is BRILLIANT for people who feel introverted because (1) you barely have to talk, (2) showing an interest in someone makes them feel amazing, and (3) you can then use what they've learned to introduce them to someone else - making them think you're even more of a rockstar. Wondering which questions to ask? Try these.

3. Give yourself an 'out.' At th​e beginning of the evening, pick a time an hour and a half in, and say to yourself, "if I'm not having fun by 9.30, I'm allowed to go home." This'll take the pressure off, and lead you to have more fun than you could have possibly imagined.

​Party Survival Tip #13 For Introverts: ASK QUESTIONS. @YesYesMarsha via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #14. Aaron Lee - Ask Aaron Lee

Aaron Lee

"Take timeouts."

Aaron Lee a.k.a. @AskAaronLee, is a social media manager and entrepreneur hailing from Malaysia. His talent in social media management, and his sincerity in life as we know it, has seen him outreach some 500,000 people globally. Aaron is also the Grand Master of Customer Delight at Post Planner. A platform that helps businesses gain an extra edge on Facebook. Connect with him on Twitter.

Aaron's answer:

I'm not going to sugarcoat it: parties or social gatherings are a torture for me. Unfortunately, it's inevitable. My three survival guides for introverts are:

1. Arrive early: Always arrive early. It's easier since there aren't many people there and you can engage in a small group of people first. I find this the best way to survive a party.

2. Start with someone you're most comfortable: It's best to start to talk to someone you're most comfortable with to relax. If you can bring someone, that's even better. If you can't, find someone you're closest with and start there.

3. Take timeouts. The key to keeping a healthy energy going is to take frequent timeouts. Find a quiet spot and spend time alone to reenergize. Don't rush it.

​Party Survival Tip #14 For Introverts: Take timeouts. @AskAaronLee via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #15. Kathryn Hall - The Business of Introverts 

Kathryn-Hall- The Business of Introverts

"Go for a walk round the block for a breather while everyone's dancing."

Kathryn is an introvert, business owner, avid writer and total and utter dreamer. She is the founder of The Business of Introverts, a blog that helps you escape the noise and do things YOUR way. Connect with her on Twitter.

Kathryn's answer:

1. Arriving at an event feeling exhausted and frazzled isn't a great start so my first tip is to plan for the event and give yourself some space to breathe and time to relax beforehand. Leading up to a party I always go for a walk through the woods or spend some time writing - they are activities that help me to feel good about myself and I know that when I step through the door to the party my energy levels will be topped up and ready to mingle.

2. Arrive to the party nice and early (rather than oh-so fashionably late). This may sound counter-intuitive but if you're feeling anxious about an event it's always much harder to arrive when everything's already in full swing - there's nothing worse than stepping through the door to a noisy, bustling party where everyone seems to know each other and you feel like the odd one out. Making sure you're one of the first there means your hosts will actually have time to talk to you (before all the other guests turn up) plus it's a lot easier to get chatting to other guests when you're in a small group.

3. Ensure you give yourself time out during the party itself. The odd five minutes here and there can do wonders for your energy levels and by stepping away from the party for breathers you're more likely to enjoy it. Ways to have some time out include going to the bathroom, saying hello to the cats or dogs, helping out in the kitchen (a great one if you're feeling like a spare part!) and looking at the hosts artwork or photos on the wall. If it's a big party with lots of people it's often very easy to slip away for 15 minutes for some fresh air. There have been many times in the past when I've gone for a walk round the block for a breather while everyone's dancing and no-one's any the wiser!

​Party Survival Tip #15 For Introverts: Go for a walk. @TheBizIntrovert via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #16. Tanja Gardner - Crystal Clarity Copywriting

Tanja Gardner

"Prioritise social events in order of what you'll get out of going; and what you'll miss out on if you don't go."

Tanja is a deeply introverted copywriter and former coaching mentor for introverts. Connect with her on Twitter.

Tanja's answer:

1. Block in time for yourself, and for all your "daily life" responsibilities. Figure out how much recharging time you need on your own over the holiday season to actually be able to enjoy spending time with other people when you're socialising; and block that time in right up front.

2. Next look at all the potential invitations/social events on the table, and divide them up into three categories: a/ those you genuinely want to go to, b/ those you know you really should go to, and c/ those you're quite happy to miss. Prioritise the events in Categories A and B in order of what you'll get out of going; and what you'll miss out on if you don't go. Schedule them into your calendar in order of priority (ensuring you don't block any in during your "you" time); and let the host know you'll be there. Then make sure you have an "escape plan" in place for each one so that you can slip away early if you start feeling your energy flagging.

3. For Category C events, and any others you don't have room for, decline gracefully and early. Check out Alexandra Franzen's post on saying no for ideas on how to do this.

​Party Survival Tip #16 For Introverts: What will you get out of going? @CrystalClarity_ via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #17. Thea Orozco - Introvertology 

Thea Introvertology

"Understand the nuances of your own temperament."

Thea is a proud introvert and life coach. She helpsfellow introverts step into their bolder selves and become the architects of their own future. Connect with her on Twitter.

Thea's answer:

1. Understand the nuances of your own temperament. Are you an introvert, shy, a Highly Sensitive Person, an empath, or a combination of them all? By understanding the nuances of your personality you can better understand (and predict) what you need to avoid during a holiday party.

2. Take breaks if you need to. Step into the bathroom for a minute, or meditate in the car for five minutes. People are much less likely to notice that you've been gone for a few minutes than to notice you look like you really don't want to be there.

3. If you're feeling out of place, remember that about half the population are introverts. It's likely that there's another introvert at the party.

​Party Survival Tip #17 For Introverts: Understand the nuances of your temperament @introvertology via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #18. Susan Steele - Quietly Fabulous 

Susan Steele

"Go with the end in mind."

Susan founded Quietly Fabulous to show the world how powerful introverts can be and to use your introvert superpowers to show the world you are quietly fabulous. Connect with her on Twitter.

Susan's answer:

1. Don't go! Seriously, if you don't want to go, don't go. How much fun are you going to have if you are forcing yourself? Now, you may need to attend certain work events because it's expected. And if you feel like you might be offending your host at a social event, try to arrange a time to meet with them one on one. You'll have a much better time -- and your host probably will too!

2. Don't let the anticipation of having an awful time be the deciding factor. Studies have shown that anticipatory anxiety -- dreading an event even before it happens -- can be as traumatic as actually experiencing the event. Go with an open mind. You can get through anything if you know it's only temporary.

3. Go with the end in mind. Have a plan for getting out of there as soon as you can. Make an agreement with yourself to speak to 3 people, chat with the host for 5 minutes and then hit the road. Knowing you have an escape plan can make any party much easier to get through.

The holidays can be really stressful for introverts. Be sure to schedule plenty of alone/recharging time to get through this party-heavy season. And think about how quiet January will be.

​Party Survival Tip #18 For Introverts: Go with the end in mind. @susan_m_steele via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #19. Casey Lightbody - Empowered Women Revolution  

Casey Lightbody

"Have an extrovert wingman (or wingwoman) to break the ice."

Empowered Women Revolution is a sanctuary for introverted women and entrepreneurs with small voices but big dreams. Connect with her on Twitter.

Casey's answer:

1. Have an extrovert wingman (or wingwoman) to break the ice. Walking into a loud, crowded room and having to make uncomfortable small talk is pure torture for us introverts. Whenever possible, I make sure I’m accompanied by a wingman/wingwoman to help break the ice and fill up those awkward pauses in conversation.

2. Find a quiet safe hiding spot to have some time out. Even if I’m accompanied by the life and soul of the party, I find that I still need some space to recharge during the event. The noise, the chatter and the feeling of being ‘on’ exhausts me and so I ensure that I take as much time as I need to recalibrate away from the buzz of the event.

3. Schedule quiet time before and after the event. Attending an event can be incredibly draining for me so I’m very intentional to schedule down time on either side of the party. It make be taking a nap, going for a walk, reading and listening to relaxing music, or vegging in front of a movie - whatever is needed to recharge my energy.

​Party Survival Tip #19 For Introverts: Take an extrovert to break the ice. @caseylightbody via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #20. Helene Scott - HeleneScott.com

Helene Scott

"Wear something you feel totally at ease in."

Helene is a Biz + Brand Coach to daring women entrepreneurs building the business they alone were born to create. Connect with her on Twitter.

Helene's answer:

1. Pre Party: Confidence + Ease. Do something that day that provides a high dose of calming re-charge (massage, walk in nature, curling up quietly with a book — whatever your thing is).

2. Wear something you feel totally at ease in and, you know — you look damn good in. It’s like armor for the introvert (pick it out in advance, don’t leave this to a last minute closet tear-down). The goal is you walking into that party as grounded, charged + confident as possible.

3. At the Party: Self Care + Preservation. The bathroom is your friend. If at anytime you get that feeling of overwhelm, head to the bathroom, find a stall, and take a moment to breathe deeply + re-charge.

​Party Survival Tip #20 For Introverts: Wear something comfortable. @HeleneScott via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #21. Katherine Mackenzie-Smith - katherinemackenziesmith.com 

Katherine Mackenzie Smith

"As invitations come in, be intentional about your plans."

Katherine is a life + business coach for introverts, writer and speaker. She helps introverts find their own way to shine. Connect with her on Twitter.

Katherine's answer:

1. As invitations come in, be intentional about your festive season plans. Obviously, some occasions won't be that easy to avoid (Christmas dinner with the in laws? Boxing day with your family?), so pop your definite 'yes' plans in your diary or calendar, RSVP 'no' to the hard no's, and then take a look at what's left and work out what you have time and energy to add to your calendar. Be aware of how much down time you'll want in between your engagements, and be really honest with yourself about what you want to do. For example, events every night for a week are probably going to leave you completely worn out. Better to tell someone you can't make it with confidence and integrity than bail or be a 'no show' at the last minute. Stand firm and then know you have the energy to enjoy the events you do end up at.

2. Don't drink too much. This is an untested theory I have that introverts may get a little too into the drinking portion of social events. Why? Because, awkward. How many times has that liquid confidence lured you in to just another glass (or four) of champagne, or a tequila shot or two to ease the pain of party socialising and, next minute, you're drunk and pretending to be all extraverted (all to avoid standing at the edges of the room, wishing you could go home and watch some Netflix in your PJs)? Yep, guilty. It may seem like a good idea at the time to ease your social discomfort with booze but, without careful consideration, it can lead to hitting it a bit hard and needing three extra days to recover. Not fun. A trusted friend by your side to ease you into the party scene is a less messy way of not feeling like a loner at your next social event. Or, when in doubt, just smoke bomb out of there when you realise you're not having any fun.

3. Drop the guilt. If you don't want to go to your friend's friend's Christmas party because you know you'll be bored out of your mind, don't go. If you don't want to go to four different office events, pick one, go to that, and ditch the rest. As Amy Poehler says, 'No is a full sentence." Say "No, thanks" and trust that other people will respect you for doing what feels right for you instead of feeling pressured into something that you don't want to do. And, if they don't, who cares, enjoy your alone time and embrace the JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out).

​Party Survival Tip #21 For Introverts: Be intentional about your plans. @miss_kms via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #22. Maggie Reyes - Modern Married

Maggie Reyes

"Decide in advance what your one goal for the party is and celebrate yourself for doing that and no more."

Maggie is a Life Coach, Writer + the creator of Modern Married. She helps smart, successful women have healthier, happier, sexier marriages using simple tools she shares on her blog. Connect with her on Twitter.

Maggie's answer:

1. Give yourself one goal: Decide in advance what your one goal for the party is and celebrate yourself for doing that and no more. For example, as a Relationship Coach I go to a lot of networking events. I make deals with myself depending on how I am feeling that day. One time I promised myself that just showing up was enough. I didn’t have to talk to anyone. Then I gave myself extra credit for just speaking to one person. As I got more comfortable, another time, I challenged myself to speak to 3 people at that event and once I spoke with 3 people I was done. That way I got to feel the excitement of reaching a goal, without feeling stressed out and overwhelmed about the event.

2. Decide how long you will stay. We all know some parties or family events that could last 10 hours if we let them. If that feels stressful, decide in advance, I will be there for x amount of time and then go home (and recharge).

3. Find the Quiet Space. I come from a very loud Latin heritage. Whether it’s loud music, loud talking or even loud laughing and fun – for some reason almost everything we do, we do loudly. When you combine holiday parties, with alcohol, music and dancing that just intensifies. Many times over the years, I have taken a break, gone to the patio if the party is inside, or gone inside if the party is outside. I have found a little quiet corner where I can regroup for a few minutes – and perhaps have a one on one conversation (which are my favorite kind). When you arrive at your next holiday party, identify the quiet space and give yourself permission to take a break if you need it and then come back to the party refreshed.

​Party Survival Tip #22 For Introverts: Decide what your one goal for the party is @ModernMarried via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #23. Kerry Jeffery - Love Transforms

Kerry Jeffery

"Set your boundaries."

Kerry is an expert in emotional healing using her own unique and innovative blend of counselling, hypnotherapy and life coaching. She specializes in recovery from toxic parent relationships and trauma. 

Kerry's answer:

Holiday time can be hell for an introvert with so many work and social functions to attend. How do you manage to survive and thrive during party season? You need to prioritize, have strong boundaries and a solid escape plan.

1. Prioritize which events you need to attend and prepare to be ruthless. Make a list of the events that you have been invited to attend and divide them into work and social. Circle the social events that you really want to attend and the work events that it would be beneficial for you to attend.

2. Set boundaries. Ruthlessly eliminate social events that you don’t want to attend and work events that give you no benefit. Remember, as an introvert, it’s important that you set strong boundaries around your time so that you don’t feel drained and overwhelmed. Decide how many events you want to attend and then, how much time you will spend at each event.

3. Have an escape plan. If the event is a long one, plan to find places at the venue where you can spend a few moments alone to regroup. Bathrooms can be good but are often very busy. If you can, find a place that is private enough to give you enough space to get back into “social mode”.

Set an exit time and stick to it. It helps to mention to the host when you arrive that you need to leave at a certain time. You can also make this clear when you accept the invitation. There is no need for you to apologize or justify why you need to leave, but if you do want to use a cover story, make it one that feels true to you that you feel comfortable using.

The holiday season is all about enjoyment and part of an introvert’s holiday season plan needs to include prioritizing, setting boundaries and having an escape plan in place to keep you sane and happy.

​Party Survival Tip #23 For Introverts: Set boundaries. Kerry Jeffery via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #24. Renee Catt - Divorce Go To Girl

Renee Catt

"Do a meditation before you go out."

Renee is the divorce go to girl. She supports and educates women going through a breakup to regain their confidence and inspire them to be empowered. Connect with her on Twitter.

Renee's answer:

1. Think - Is this event really my scene. Not every event is going to suit every person. Maybe it's at a venue that is too loud or too busy, and it is ok to say no. Or, see the flip side and maybe this event could actually be a great way to grow for an introvert, so stretch the comfort zone just a little bit, because that's where growth happens. Maybe even drive to the event so you can leave when you feel it is time.

2. Body - You want to go out feeling absolutely confident, from the inside out and outside in. Buy a new outfit or even say some incantations before you go out repeat this 3 times "I am radiant" if you are a woman or "I am open to meet new people", find whatever short phrase works for you. Perhaps you could have a 'good luck' charm in your pocket that you squeeze if you feel a little shy and maybe that might put a smile on your face.

3. Love - It really is important to love ourselves first and honour how you feel. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, so appreciate that about yourself. See the good in that. If you are feeling completely anxious about going out,then trust your intuition and say NO to that event. Only drink a small amount of alcohol if at all.

Reality Check - even if you are an introvert, even some extroverts can be shy in new social situations. Social media has made a lot of people less social. Often these days, people who go out in groups, stick to their groups and there isnt much interaction.

Also, if you are a spiritual introvert, you could do a meditation before you go out. Visualise how the night will go, that you will walk in, feeling happy and excited, you will chat to a few people, have fun and great converstation, contribute to someone else's evening and then leave when you choose. See the night unfolding how you want it to. Then as you leave the house, set the intention for the night. Is it to meet a new partner, or just dance to one song, or is it just to chat with a friend. But set the intention. Then as you get to the venue, surrender to any out come and just go with the flow and enjoy.

​Party Survival Tip #24 For Introverts: Meditate before you go. @DivorceGo2Girl via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #25. Rachael Kable - rachaelkable.com 

Rachael Kable

"The more you can stay in the moment and tune into how you're feeling, the easier it will be to take care of your needs."

Rachael is a passionate wellness coach and blogger. She loves to empower women through connection and support, stress management skills and mindfulness techniques, big conversations and authenticity. Connect with her on Twitter.

Rachael's answer:

1. Mindfully check-in with your emotions. Enter the party with a mindful mindset. The more you can stay in the moment and tune into how you're feeling, the easier it will be to take care of your needs. Rather than thinking ahead about when the party will end or thinking back over what you said or did, try to remain focused on the present. Parties are often busy and overwhelming and it's important to allow yourself time alone when you need it. By taking a few deep breaths and bringing your attention to the moment, you can ask yourself if you're feeling drained and need a few moments to refresh.

2. Chill with the kids.Want to know where you're likely to find me (a fellow introvert!) during a party? Chilling out with the kids. It's simply, really. Kids believe the world revolves around them and they're happy enough talking about themselves. They don't care about awkward silences, they don't want to know about your job or relationships and they're easily entertained with games like hide and seek or colouring in. Arm yourself with some pencils, paper, a deck of cards and some simple games and you'll be set. Your family will love you for taking the responsibility of supervising and you'll have fun!

3. Honour your introverted self before and after the party.Parties can squeeze introverts out their comfort zones and it can be hard work outside those boundaries. However, attending a party doesn't have to mean you put yourself and your needs last. Use your favourite survival tips during the party and honour your introverted self before and after. On the day of the party, spend some time by yourself in nature. Read a book. Take a relaxing bath. Write in a journal. Meditate. Recognise that a party is likely to drain your energy and ensure that you schedule time to both prepare and unwind.

​Party Survival Tip #25 For Introverts: Check in with your emotions. @rachaelkable via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #26. Trudy Simmons - The Daisy Chain Group

Trudy Simmons

"Get sleep before the event."

Trudy is a purpose and productivity coach at the Daisy Chain Group. Connect with her on Twitter.

Trudy's answer:

1. Say NO, if you want to say NO, but if you want to go along, then make the most of it. If it is a networking event, then set yourself a goal – whether that is 1 person or 5 people – meet new people and realise that they may be feeling the same as you.

2. Brace yourself. Get sleep before the event. PLAN for after the event. When you feel yourself being drained, then remember to have something JUST FOR YOU after the event (whether it is a day of quiet, or an hour of meditation/reading).

3. Set a time limit that feels good to you. If you are umming and arring about whether to go to something, then go along for an hour or two…. And you can always change your mind once you are there! OPTIONS and CHOICES. You have both.

​Party Survival Tip #26 For Introverts: Get sleep before the event. @daisychain1122 via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #27. Heather Williams  -Professional blogger and writer

Heather McClees

"Quit worrying everyone is judging you."

Heather is a writer from South Carolina, where she graduated with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Nutrition Dietetics and minored in Journalism. She strives to show others how personal obstacles can create personal strengths and spends most of her time blogging at The Soulful Spoon. Connect with her on Twitter.

Heather's answer:

1. Find someone you know to chat with initially and help take the pressure off. Branch out from there as you desire.

2. Quit worrying everyone is judging you - they aren't even though it feels like it.

3. Stay at least 45 minutes and then feel free to leave. People appreciate effort and you showing up, so do what you need to do and politely excuse yourself at a reasonable hour.

​Party Survival Tip #27 For Introverts: Quit worrying you're being judged. @Heather_McClees via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #28. Gerry Katzman - Award-winning comedy teacher

Gerry Katzman

"What higher-purpose can I bring to this event?"

As an award-winning comedy teacher in Los Angeles, Gerry specializes in getting all kinds of people to be comfortable under intense situations. He can teach you some of the same secrets he gives actors and comedians to help turn you into a party pro. Connect with him on Twitter.

Gerry's answer:

1. Be of service. When a director wants to make an actor less nervous during a scene, he will very often assign the actor a task to complete while the scene is filming, like rolling a cigarette, making a sandwich, or writing a letter. When someone gives us something additional to accomplish, it takes us out of our own head. We're going to exploit that psychological loophole to turn you into a get-together guru.

One powerful secret to feeling relaxed at a party (or any event) is to become part of the team! Ask the host if you can come early to help out. That way, you've already gotten acclimated to the space and had some bonding moments with the key party participants before everyone else has even walked through the door! It's a terrific position to be in – you get to watch everyone else walk in and experience their "new-to-the-party" jitters, while you're an old hand who's been there a while and has the enviable job of offering people a drink. You get to calm them down and have an automatic excuse to start a conversation, built-in!

Even if you don't get there early, find a job! Find a way to be helpful. Grab a bottle of sparkling water from the kitchen or bar, and ask if you can top someone off. Have a cigarette lighter or a keychain with a built-in bottle opener in your pocket. Being of service puts you directly in the flow of the party. Little moments of "let me get that for you" are natural ways to meet new people and start a conversation.

2. "What's my motivation?" Actors don't just say lines, they have a "motivation" that drives them through a scene. Harrison Ford isn't just reciting the script - he's trying to save the world! Having a strong context for why you're in a scene (or in our case, at a party) keeps you from feeling nervous or self conscious. (*Note everyone is a little nervous or self conscious at a party.)

To become clear about their motivation in a scene, actors do a short, powerful written exercise, which I share with you here:

Before you go to your event, ask yourself (and write down the answers to) 3 questions:

1) "What higher-purpose can I bring to this event?" When you think about what benefit you can bring to a party, you shift your focus away from yourself and toward other people (which is almost always a good thing..)

Perhaps you're heading to a party where you know that people are on edge about recent company events- so maybe you will decide to be a calming force at this party. Perhaps you'll decide to be a person who connects people and puts them at ease. Or maybe you'll bring your sense of freedom, playfulness or curiosity. That doesn't mean you have to bring your whoopee cushion and your DJ turntables- it's just holding the sliver of an idea that you might actually be bringing some value to the event. Shifting your context from simply being a guest/consumer of a party to being a contributor is a power move.

2) "What are my goals at this event?" Do you want to meet other people? Relax? Network? Dance? Have stimulating conversation? As rare of a practice as it may seem, defining your goals before a party will give you uncommon control over the shape of your evening.

3) "What specific results will I generate at this event?" "I will get 3 prospects'business cards", "I will get two potential-dates' phone numbers", "I will have that conversation with Uncle Larry".

Once you've written down your higher-purpose, your goals, and your specific results- forget about them (just like an actor forgets all of their homework and allow themselves to be spontaneous in the moment- where all the fun is).

You've set your intention for the party-now let it go and have a good time. You'll find (just like an actor) that doing your homework before an event allows you to be in control, allows your instincts to kick in, and allows you to have a better time than you ever thought possible. Celebrate!

​Party Survival Tip #28 For Introverts: What's my motivation? @GerryKatzman via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #29. Patricia Weber - Author of Communication Toolkit for Introverts: Find Your Voice in Everyday Business Situations.

Patricia Weber introvert coach

"We introverts ARE social, just in a limited time and in a different way."

One of the first people since 2006, to lead the way in support of introverts as “America’s #1 Coach For Introverts (and extroverts reluctant to sell)”, and an introvert herself,  Patricia supports introverts, and baby boomers of any personality preference, to experience more personal energy, more vitality and what she calls, oomph. Since 1990 Patricia’s coaching has transformed the lives of introverts who typically sell reluctantly or lead with less than stellar personal power. Connect with her on Twitter.

Patricia's answer:

When I started as America's #1 Business Coach for Introverts in 2007 the confusion over what an introvert is and is not was as much as it is now. My premise of attending parties (whether it's the holiday season or not is wrapped in: take care of yourself before, during and after a party. This can be a complete party tactic (or even business networking) which both allows us to be ourselves and enjoy the season.

1. Before prep: as much as a day or two, or an hour or two before a party: do something in solitude. I think it was Dr Marti Laney, The Introvert Advantage, first gave the analogy of the more introverted being like a battery needing to recharge. Solitude, whatever is our preference, is our recharging. Even drinking an herbal tea like Chamomille before you head out can do it for me! Aaahhhh.

2. Think about your actions during any party to find your power outlet. It could mean helping the hostess, or finding one or two people who seem to you to enjoy quiet to create your inner circle, or locate a room or door to outside to duck away to take some slow deep breaths to regain your charge.

3. After: things like enough sleep, eating healthy, and keeping up your exercise routine all help keep energy going during a hectic holiday. Take your favorite for the after time.

We introverts ARE social, just in a limited time and in a different way.

Party Survival Tip #29 For Introverts: Solitude is our recharging. @patweber via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #30. Nathalie Doremieux - WP Help Club

Nathalie Doremieux

"Be ready for the famous Q."

Over 20 years of experience as a software engineer, Nathalie specializes in WordPress development, ecourse setup and building lead generation and launch funnels for her clients. Oh and she's a massive introvert. Connect with her on Twitter.

Nathalie's answer:

1. Arrive early: Don’t be late, be one of the first so you don’t attract attention when you get in. It’s also easier to warm up to people you don’t know when it’s a smaller group. You can offer to help the host, it’s a great way to warm up to the place and to have something to focus on.

2. Bring a friend: Don’t go alone, if you can, bring a friend, if he/she is an extrovert all the better he/she can do all the talking and you can do the listening 🙂

3. Be ready for the famous Q: It's inevitable: please are going to ask you the famous question: “So, what do you do?" Have a pretty generic reply that is short and easy for anyone to understand (might not be your elevator pitch here unless you are coming to this party in the hope of getting business. 🙂 )

​Party Survival Tip #30 For Introverts: Be ready for the famous Q. @natdoremieux via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #31. Tracey Convery - Digiwise Graphics

Tracey Convery

"Look for that connection."

Tracey runs a graphic design business. While she doesn't work with or for introverted people, Tracey herself is an introvert. Connect with her on Twitter.

Tracey's answer:

1. Be armed, dangerous and gorgeous. Put on your James or Jane Bond face and psych yourself up on how glamorous you look and then go from there. Now, put your best foot forward and enter the party.

2. Look for that connection. I recently found myself trying to mingle amongst a large group of people during a business networking event. It seemed obvious to me that most everyone there had known each other quite well as there were various groups of similar aged people scattered around in the deep throes of gripping conversation. I scanned the crowd looking for my break, and there it was. Eye contact made by one or two ladies gathered nearby - an invitation to approach. While their conversation was slightly interrupted by my arrival, I put in an effort to find out more about the businesses that each of the ladies were representing. If you do find yourself at a business networking event over Christmas where you are handing out your business card, don’t forget to get a few cards from other people as well. Write on the back of their cards something about them, or the date you met and be sure to call them. Don’t wait for them to call as by that stage they might have taken their interest elsewhere.

3. Start small end big. Meeting a lot of new people at once can be quite confusing. I know that it has been said before, but repeat the new acquaintances name when you are introduced and try to remember something about them, eg. are they wearing blue earrings or a red coat... Perhaps start up a conversation in regards to something that you notice about them. If the conversation is short, move on, but at least you have engaged them and can always return to them later on. If you do forget their name, simply ask politely what their name was again.

4. Look for some common ground with the new crowd. Are they friends of your partner’s/husband’s? Does he/she work with them? Is it a gathering at an inner city event? What compelled you to attend? It could very well be the same reason why everyone else is there. Try to maintain the flow of conversation. If they are going to return the effort of conversation they would also engage and listen. Don’t forget to listen and ask relevant questions so they can then have their share of the conversation spotlight.

​Party Survival Tip #31 For Introverts: Look for that connection. @DigiWiseGraphic via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #32. Kylie Bevan - Relocation Health Coach

Kylie Bevan

"Embrace your listening skills."

Kylie is a certified health coach, who helps women and men relocate and resettle in a healthy and happy way, so they have the energy and enthusiasm to enjoy their new location all the sooner. Connect with her on Twitter.

Kylie's answer:

1. Too many invitations? Say no to some of them. Keep it simple. ‘Thank you for inviting me, I’m not able to attend’. If you feel compelled to add a reason try, ‘As much as I appreciate you thinking of me, I’m prioritising my health this silly / busy / crazy season, which means not saying yes to everything that comes my way’.

2. Balance social gatherings with time doing what you love. Schedule space for you before and after each event. Re-energise. Think meditation, journaling, quiet walks, playing with the dog, cooking, painting, gym class, a bath, a good book. Whatever fills your tank.

3. Embrace your listening skills. Ask questions when you’d rather not talk. Surprise people by actually taking an interest in what they say. You probably already know how rare that is – and how fulfilling.

​Party Survival Tip #32 For Introverts: Embrace your listening skills. @kylie_bevan via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #33. Stormy Sweitzer - Leadership consultant and writer 

Stormy Sweitzer

"Manage your energy."

Me’tik Ventures is a creative partnership and publishing company behind the Sierra Rouge adventure stories and other media designed to inspire young changemakers and adventurers. Stormy Sweitzer and Will Swanepoel created Me’tik Ventures as a way to educate young people about complex global issues in a highly-entertaining way, while, at the same time, encouraging and equipping them to take real-world action. Connect with her on Twitter.

Stormy's answer:

My go-to strategies for surviving a party:

1. Be Curious: have some interesting questions you can ask other people; your choice of question(s) can often steer the conversation in a direction you enjoy and, if the other person is talking, you don’t have to. It takes off some of the pressure.

2. Be Prepared: have a personal story or experience that you are passionate about or that makes you feel good that you can share when people ask you about yourself. The positive emotion makes it easier to speak about yourself.

3. Manage Your Energy: find a quiet place where you can go for a breather or some quiet when you need it. Can’t find one? Ask your host if there is an empty room you can sit in for a while.

​Party Survival Tip #33 For Introverts: Manage your energy. @MetikVentures via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #34. Glori Surban  - Slideshare designer and introvert blogger

Glori Surban

"Find fellow innies."

Glori is an introvert freelance blogger who helps small business owners and entrepreneurs grow their online audience through quality ghost and guest blogging services. She blogs about introversion and the quiet life at Introvert Recharge and she's also a contributing writer at Lifehack. Connect with her on Twitter.

Glori's answer:

1. Create a criteria for attending events. (inspired by Marti Olsen Laney's "The Introvert Advantage"). "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is this event for my relationship, career, or personal cause?" If you rate the event on the higher end of the scale, you know you need to go. Once you have a criteria along these lines, you'll feel less guilty about turning down some invitations and actually feel more comfortable accepting others.

2. Set a time limit and let the hosts know. If you absolutely need to attend a party or gathering but don't want to stay too long, says so. You don't need to mention a reason why.

3. Find fellow innies. Trust me, you're not the only introvert in that party. There will be other people who will likely look for quiet spots. Go and find our people and enjoy each others' silent company.

​Party Survival Tip #34 For Introverts: Find fellow innies. @glorisurban via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #35. Melissa Ng - Lumecluster

Melissa Ng

"There's no perfectly right or wrong way to navigate parties."

Melissa Ng makes intricate Dreamer Masks and fantasy wearable art for ambitious creatives who want to take people’s breath away. As a New York-based self-taught artist who started 3D printing in 2014, combined with a background in media & communications and public relations, she has an unconventional approach when it comes to creating art. Connect with her on Twitter.

Melissa's answer:

1. What if you don't know anyone at the party? Well, chances are there is someone (aka many) who feel just as drained, anxious or overwhelmed as you (introvert or not). You're not alone in your anxieties, so no point in worrying about it. So, start by striking up a conversation with one person. And if it falls flat, it's okay. It happens to all of us every now and then.

2. You don't need to be friends with everybody or be the life of the party. The more you concern yourself with how you think you "should be like" or how you "should behave" in a party will only unnecessarily increase pressure on yourself. So, go into a party and aim to have at least one good conversation. And after that one, try for another one. Or if you want to sit back and observe the crowd, that's fine too.

3. If you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, just remember there's nothing wrong with you. There's no perfectly right or wrong way to navigate parties just as there's no right or wrong way to enjoy your solitude. But if you are feeling like the crowd is simply too much to handle, maybe take a break by taking a moment to collect yourself in the hallway or wherever there aren't as many people. Oftentimes, you'll find folks on the outskirts of the crowd who were in need of a break just as much as you and who are happy you struck up a conversation with them.

​Party Survival Tip #35 For Introverts: Aim to have one good conversation. @lumecluster via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #36. Yasmine Khater - Marketing & Sales Strategist

yasmine khater

"Offer to help the host."

Yasmine is an award winning business + marketing strategist, psychologist and TEDx speaker. She helps exceptional empire builders create empires with innovative trust based marketing and sales strategies. Connect with her on Twitter.

Yasmine's answer:

1. Be yourself: It's okay to be a little vulnerable and just to let people know that parties make you uncomfortable. I often find people say back to me that they thought they were the only one so it makes it much more comfortable.

2. The bathroom is your friend: I head to the bathroom or go outside just to take a break from the whole party from time to time because especially if its too crowded and overwhelming it makes things a lot easier.

3. Offer to Help the host: Ask the host if you can help, with setting things up, refilling the drinks or just tidying up. By being busy it becomes less pressure to socialize.

​Party Survival Tip #36 For Introverts: Offer to help the host. @YasmineKhater via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #37. Martini Fisher - Author 

Martini Fisher

"It's okay to be the quiet one."

Martini graduated with a degree in Ancient History. As a writer, her credits include "Wayang: Stories of the Shadow Puppets," a look at the ancient stories of Javanese creation myths from a traditional performing arts standpoint, and a novella, "Songs from a Mountain," also based on East and South East Asian history. Her latest effort is "Time Maps," co-written with Dr. R.K Fisher, analyzing the world from the very beginning, examining theories of evolution and other beliefs on the subject, before discussing Biological Evolution in details. Connect with her on Twitter.

Martini's answer:

I get quite anxious in a crowd so I really don't like parties of big gatherings and would avoid them whenever possible. Sometimes, though, those parties are necessary. Here are my three survival tips for large parties:

1. Build up to it: I would purposefully make a lot of plans for a few days before and after the party. Any plans from going shopping with my friends, attending smaller parties, or going out with a larger group to a bar I've never been before. This serves two purposes: 1. Those plans and gatherings numbs me from my anxiety of meeting people and force me to deal with it, so the party doesn't look so bad, and 2. They reduce the dreaded party from a "big, terrifying, deal" to "just one of many," which makes it also easier to stomach.

2. Dress well. It's a cliche, but it works. Dressing in a way that makes you feel comfortable, yet beautiful/handsome/hot does wonders for your self esteem. Add this with your natural shyness and quiet, people can easily think of you as "that hot, mysterious one", which is not a bad impression.

3. It's okay to be the quiet one. It's good to realize this. You are not obligated to be the centre of attention. It's better to be quiet when you have nothing to contribute, as long as you inject a healthy dose of smiles, nods, and maybe some genuine questions if you are interested. Introverts are famous for their listening skills. This is a good chance to demonstrate that. In parties everybody talks, loudly and at the same time. So having you there who gives a chance to others to lead the conversation, listening and asking questions is a breath of fresh air.'

​Party Survival Tip #37 For Introverts: It's okay to be the quiet one. @martinifisher via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #38. Christine Warner - Lifestyle Writer at Verily Mag, Content Marketing Manager at Uber

Christine Warner

"Think Outward. Fight the urge to think inward."

Christine is a content marketing manager at Uber focused on content development for the New England market and a lifestyle writer for Verily Magazine. Before Uber, she gained experience in content strategy and production at Skyword and digital media planning and buying at DigitasLBi. As a member of Boston Content's leadership team, she is dedicated to the growth of the content marketing community in Boston. Connect with her on Twitter.

Christine's answer:

Extroverts may be able to breeze through a party with little effort. But we introverts bring our own irreplaceable qualities to the scene. Stop comparing yourself to the life of the party or other extroverts, and keep doing what you do best. Whether it’s insightful questioning, well-timed witticisms, or genuine listening, embrace it and own it. With the holiday season upon us, here are some tips to survive the influx of parties.

1. Prepare Conversation Starters. Before you go, prepare a few topics to spark conversations. I like to brainstorm three types: generic, specific, and personal. Used to break the ice with anyone, generic topics can include current events, weather, and scenery. Specific topics address the interests and lives of people you know are attending the event. Finally, personal topics are about you. When someone asks, “What’s new with you?” have a few updates or stories ready to inspire dialogue.

2. Bring an Extroverted Sidekick. A chatty companion can balance out your introversion and help you feel at ease even before you show up to the party. Make plans to arrive with an extroverted friend. While it’s safe to leave the talking to extroverts, don’t stay in your comfort zone of silence. Take part in the discussion. Even venture off on your own to mix with other known or unknown partiers. Large gatherings are a great way to meet new people and expand your circle.

3. Think Outward. Fight the urge to think inward. Instead, direct your attention and concern to others. With self-focused thoughts—Was that a stupid thing to say? Do they think I’m too quiet?—it’s hard to avoid the downward spiral of introspection. Instead, forget about yourself the second you walk out the door. Forget any pre-party premonitions or other distractions holding you back from living in (and enjoying!) the party to its fullest.

​Party Survival Tip #38 For Introverts: Fight the urge to think inward. @cvwarner via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #39. Andy Mort - Sheep Dressed Like Wolves Clothes

Andy Mort

"Accept the Social Hangover."

Andy is a writer and podcaster who helps introverts and highly sensitive people smash through the internal barriers that get in the way of them making their unique creative impact in the world so that they can thrive with the clarity, confidence and self-permission they need to pursue their biggest dreams and make them happen without getting overwhelmed or burned out. Connect with him on Twitter.

Andy's answer:

1. Decide if You Actually Want (or Need) to Go. We often feel like we SHOULD go to parties. But every ‘yes’ is a ‘no’ to something else. Be sure that it’s what you truly want to do and that you’re not feeling obliged because your fear missing out or disappointing certain people. Learn to say no gracefully so that you can say yes to the things and people that do matter to you (a philosophy that extends to other areas of life).

2. Get There Early. If you arrive before the rest of the crowd you can get used to the party environment before it gets busy and adapt gradually as other people slowly trickle in. This usually beats walking into an already buzzing environment (sensory overload) where you have to step through groups of strangers to even find a face you know.

3. Be In Control of Your Exit Plan. Know how you’re going to leave and stick to your plan. If you only want to pop in (‘show your face’) then make that the easiest path to take. If you’re going with someone else don’t allow their plans to dictate yours. Relying on someone else for a lift home for example can leave you stranded if they want to stay. If you have to do this then communicate your expectations beforehand.

Bonus: Accept the Social Hangover. Introverts may experience hangover-like symptoms after parties. Don’t fight it. Don’t plan too much the next day. Be gentle with yourself and remember that you can do anything but you can’t do everything.

​Party Survival Tip #39 For Introverts: Accept the social hangover. @AP_Mort via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #40. Brenda Knowles - space2live

Brenda Knowles

"Ask people questions about themselves."

Brenda Knowles is best known for her blog, space2live. She is the creator, writer and personal coach of BrendaKnowles.com. She empowers introverts and highly sensitive people as they go through transitions and navigate relationships. She believes in the importance of slowing down, paying attention, being curious, extolling empathy and evolving personally. Connect with her on Twitter.

Brenda's answer:

1. Ask people questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves, especially if you ask intriguing open-ended questions. I despise the question, “What do you do?” but I’ll ask something like, “What would you do all day if you could?” or “What do you do for fun?” The cool thing is if you ask questions and actively listen to the response people think YOU are wonderful and interesting. Giving someone the opportunity to be heard is often greatly appreciated.

2. Talk to people one or two at a time. I went to a white elephant party last weekend where I knew no one. I sat on the end of a 3-seater couch and didn’t move. Others came and went taking turns sitting next to me on the couch. I engaged them or (more often) they engaged me. I used the question, “How do you know Karen and Bob (the hosts)?” to get things started with each couch-mate.

3. It helps me to have quiet buffer time before and after a party. If I am running around all day and then go right to a party, my energy will flag and I’ll feel dull and uninteresting. I try to take my time getting ready for the party, maybe listen to music as I get dressed and do my makeup. Then I can ease into the party spirit. After the event, I like to talk about it with a friend or have an hour or so to unwind before bed. I also try to make sure I can sleep in the next morning so my mind and body can fully recharge overnight.

​Party Survival Tip #40 For Introverts: Ask people questions about themselves. @space2live via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #41. Sandy Jones-Kaminski - Bella Domain Media

Sandy Jones-Kaminski

"Make peace with small talk."

Sandy Jones-Kaminski is an in-demand LinkedIn strategist and the author of the #1 pick on the Inc.com 2010 Business Book Wish List titled, “I’m at a Networking Event–Now What???: A Guide to Making the Most Out of Any Networking Event.” She helps small to midsize business owners, solo entrepreneurs and corporate executives generate more leads, buzz and connections by optimizing their online presence and increasing the value of their professional brand both online as well as offline. Connect with her on Twitter.

Sandy's answer:

1. Make peace with small talk. I want to frame this small talk suggestion around the idea that good manners never go out of style. In many ways, being able to start and continue a pleasant conversation with another person is essentially about good manners.In fact, I realize that before many of the reluctant networkers (about 80% of the world, according to my informal surveys) can even think about good manners, they first need to get comfortable with small talk and that comes from practice, practice and more practice. Therefore, I recommend practicing your small talk in lower risk situations, such as the Starbucks drive-thru window, with the cashier at Macy's, while along the sidelines of a game you’re watching, or waiting in a line for practically anything. Another favorite way to practice is to ask the pharmacy staff that stand on their feet all day, "So, how's your day going?" Try this one with anyone in a service role (even on the phone) and you'll be surprised how the dynamic of your interaction changes for the better. Finally, another easy opener, that often leads to a painless exchange of small talk, is to ask others what motivated them to attend the event you're both at out of all the events going on that week. Talking about the event you’re at is the one thing you definitely have in common, just like at a wedding when everyone there is connected to at least one of the people getting married. Who hasn't sat a table of 10 and had an easy hour or two of storytelling around how you all knew the happy couple?

2. Set a goal. You can try making in-person networking less nerve-wracking, more productive and even enjoyable by setting goals. Having a mission or goal will help create focus, which usually helps relieve nervousness. Whatever you do, keep your expectations reasonable and don't let your valuable time and energy at in-person networking events be wasted, but just "winging it!" A few good goals to set could include:

  • Meeting and learning more about a specific number of new people
  • Helping 3 people that express their need for help (see below)
  • Collecting industry information or knowledge
  • Introducing yourself to and maybe complimenting the featured speaker

The truth is, most of us go to networking events knowing we might exchange information, resources or professional and personal experiences, so keeping your ears open for opportunities to share what you know or learn from others often leads to achieving mutually beneficial goals.

Plus, if you focus on learning about the people you meet and not your nerves, you'll take the pressure off yourself. And if you try focusing on what you might be able to offer others in the form of stories, contacts, ideas, knowledge or resources, in response to the conversations, you can relax and be remembered for being helpful or a great listener.

As Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

3. Have an easy intro. Practice using an easy or unique introduction whenever you can. This isn't about having an elevator pitch, which stresses most of us out; it's more along the lines of a personal branding statement. Try something like:

“Hi! I’m Theresa. I’m the main bean counter at Acme Partners.” Yes, Theresa’s in accounting and she always gets at least a smile when she says this as she’s shaking someone’s hand.

Another example:

"I’m Kevin Smith, a website designer over at Byte Me Creative where we help small businesses and solo entrepreneurs learn to love their websites again."

​Party Survival Tip #41 For Introverts: Make peace with small talk @sandyjk via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #42. Nancy Okerland - Introvert Energy 

nancy okerlund

"Give yourself permission, maybe just this one year, to intentionally skip all the group festivities."

Nancy Okerlund is the owner of Introvert Energy, and author of Introverts at Ease - An Insider's Guide to a Great Life on Your Terms. Her commitment in working with other introverts is for people to create more ease and effectiveness in their lives; and for the world to experience more wonderful introvert energy – the world needs introverts.

Nancy's answer:

One approach, perhaps impractical, maybe indulgent, is to do a holiday season introvert-style and forgo all the parties.

Instead, plan some activities you can enjoy without the survival orientation. Watching the sun rise on Winter Solstice morning with one friend, and breakfast afterwards, is one of my rituals. On purpose, in honor of the season, do some things you love to do by yourself, like watching favorite movies tucked in front of the fireplace.

Give yourself permission, maybe just this one year, to intentionally skip all the group festivities. A break from strategizing on how to make it through, a gift to the world of cultivating introvert energy.

​Party Survival Tip #42 For Introverts: Do some things you love to do by yourself #NancyOkerlund via @shaecbaxter

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Party Survival Tip #43. Georgina EL Morshdy - Find Your You

Georgina EL Morshdy

"Ask this brilliant icebreaker question: “What do you spend most of your time doing?”

Georgina is the coach and Message Mirror at Find Your You. She helps business owners create personal brands and works with heart centred entrepreneurs who want to show up with the message their soul longs to share. Connect with her on Twitter.

Georgina's answer:

I‘m not a big fan of parties. I never have been! There’s too much noise and too many people I don’t know!

I’d much prefer to curl up on the sofa with a good movie. But sometimes you have to force yourself to socialise. And you never know, you may have more fun than you think.

These are my top party survival tips:

1. Be the listener 
One of the things I hate about parties is talking about myself to people I don’t know.

The way I cope with this is to bat the focus back to someone else. I LOVE to listen. I enjoy asking questions that help me really get to know someone.

It’s amazing what people reveal when they feel heard. And with the attention off me, I can enjoy myself that little bit more.

2. Have something in your hand
I often feel awkward at parties – especially if I don’t know anyone.

There’s nothing worse than standing by yourself at the edge of the room worrying what people are thinking of you!

Whilst I’m not a drinker, I always feel more comfortable with a drink in my hand. Being able to take a sip gives me something to do and eases the pressure I feel.

3. Prepare your icebreaker
I find small talk awkward, which makes starting a conversation tricky. I can’t remember the name of the book, but back in my 20s I discovered a brilliant icebreaker question.

It was this…“What do you spend most of your time doing?”

Ask this question and you give someone free reign to talk about what’s important to them (rather than just their job). It’s a good conversation starter and I feel more comfortable knowing this question is ready when I need it.

​Party Survival Tip #43 For Introverts: Ask this icebreaker: "What do you spend most of your time doing?" @GeorginaMorshdy

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Party Survival Tip #44. Lisa Avebury - Sacred Introvert 

Lisa Avebury

"I no longer worry that my calm quietness or my observant nature will somehow make the loud people in the opposite corner of the room uncomfortable."

Lisa is a self proclaimed “Introvert Activist”, who hopes to not only empower other introverts to honor the Sacred Introvert in themselves but to educate the rest of the world on what it really means to be an introvert. Connect with her on Twitter.

Lisa's answer:

Like any good actor tackling a challenge role, make sure your costume helps you get into character: Wear something that gives you confidence. This doesn’t mean dress the way you think everyone else will be dressed. Wear what makes you feel comfortable, natural and unique.

Don’t underestimate the communicative power of a well put together look. It will speak for you even if you have nothing to say.

If you are nervous before the event, sit quietly (or meditate if you have a practice) before you head out to ground yourself. Affirm the goals or reasons why you have accepted the invitation and let go of any expectations you have for the event or yourself.

Don’t rush. Give yourself plenty of time to get ready and to arrive at the time you planned (fashionably late for me!). Rushing only creates anxiety that will most likely linger on for the rest of the evening.

After many years of trying to fit in at parties and feeling false, I now honor my authenticity. I no longer worry that my calm quietness or my observant nature will somehow make the loud people in the opposite corner of the room uncomfortable.

Staying true to my essence has afforded me the opportunity of experiencing a higher quality of interaction with the people I do connect with. Like attracts like.

​Party Survival Tip #44 For Introverts: Wear what makes you feel comfortable, natural and unique. @SKRDINTRVRT

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WOW!

HUGE thanks to everyone who contributed to this mammoth post.

Please share if you think it was useful.

44 Experts Reveal Their Best Party Survival Tips for Introverts via shaecbaxter. 

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Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more exciting interviews like this one. 🙂

Got any further tips to add?

Let me know in the comments below what your best 3 party tips for introverts are.

13 thoughts on “How To Survive A Party: 44 Experts Reveal Their 3 Best Party Tips For Introverts

  1. […] in the end, because I had the honor of contributing to this article from http://www.shutupandspeak.net on “How to Survive a Party: 42 Experts Reveal their 3 Best Party Tips for Introverts”. Do press on the link to come and say hello! I got to be in it with some really brilliant people, […]

  2. Thank you for featuring me and all these amazing introvert experts! I would also add “Try to make at least 5 people smile by the end of the night.” When I focus on other people and making them feel appreciated and at ease, it also helps take the focus off me and my intovert tendencies!:) Great article!

  3. Thanks for these great tips from all these amazing contributors.

    I use tip #8 from Dr. Simon Rego. I love a good power nap before going out to a party, it ensures I’m fresh and at my best.

    I also like to cherry pick my events, preferring to really enjoy the events I do attend rather than spreading myself too thin by trying to go to everything.

  4. Hi,
    Great post!
    My husband’s family are very activity-oriented. When we visit, I always go through the list of activities planned, and strategically pick the ones I can gracefully opt out of. Otherwise I can’t make it through the day!

    I also really liked your post because it helped me connect the dots as to why I’m so spent after a lovely evening with friends.
    Thanks, Margie

  5. Great post Shae! Great hints and tips for survival which every introvert needs in bucket loads. I am a superfan of the power nap and couldn’t survive my business without it, never mind the silly season 🙂

    Thanks for a great read.

  6. Interesting article. So much was about letting ourselves off the proverbial hook! Relax and enjoy within your personal limits. Just love that so many of the suggestions I have done, which in itself it great confirmation that I am looking after myself. I always go to an event early and connect with the host/organizer and it does relieve anxiety. Psychologically I then feel “allowed” to leave early if I need to!

  7. […] actually enjoy themselves. If you’re an introverted person, or know any, you must read this EXPERT GUIDE TO SURVIVING A HOLIDAY PARTY FOR INTROVERTS — game changer. […]

  8. What a wonderful collection! Thanks for going to the effort of gathering these great tips!!

  9. […] How To Survive A Party: 42 Experts Reveal Their 3 Best Party Tips For Introverts. A solid collection of tips including some MyBlogU members put together by @shaecbaxter. As an introvert, I can certainly appreciate the advice! […]

  10. Great tips shared in this article. So many insights – wonderful. xx

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